Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“
Female girlfriend to her blonde girlfriend: ”I went for a pregnancy test today.“ Blonde girlfriend asked: ”Oh, and was the test difficult?“
Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
More leg-room!
Old couple wanting to get married discusses finance, living arrangements etc. ”How do u feel about intercourse? He asked her hesitantly. ”Well“ she replied carefully, ”I would like it rather infrequently“ He thinks a bit and asks her casually: “Was the last word one or two words?“
A couple had an argument whilst driving and then passed a pigfarm. Husband asked sarcastically: Relatives of yours?“ wife responded. ”Yip, my in-laws!“
What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
Getting fingered by Captain Hook
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass….
An Mechanic
Wife gets naked into bed with husband and says: ”tonight I am going to make you the happiest man in town!“ Husband: ”Wow, who is helping you to move?“
Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back?“
Why did the bald head man’s trouser pockets have holes in it?
So that he every now and then can pull his fingers thru his hair.
What is the resemblance between men and clouds?
Eventually they fuck-off and then it is a lovely day….!“
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