Confusing Chinese Names

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan(anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Telinga (Malay)

Johan dilahirkan tanpa kedua telinganya, tetapi walaupun cacat dia
berjawatan tinggi di sebuah bank.


Dia sangat marah kalu ada orang yang mempersoalkan tentang telinga.

Satu hari dia mahu mengambil kerani baru dan tiga orang disenaraipendek
untuk sesi temuduga.


Calon pertama seorang lelaki yang mempunyai penampilan yang baik.
Diakhir temuduga, Johan bertanya satu soalan kepada lelaki itu.

"Awak nampak tak sesuatu yang ganjil pada saya?"
"Ya, tapi minta maaf kalau saya kata tuan tak ada telinga, macam ayam"
jawab lelaki itu dengan jujur.

Merasa terhina dengan jawapan itu, Johan mengusirnya keluar dari pejabat.

Calon kedua ialah seorang perempuan yang berpengalaman bekerja di bank
hampir 5 tahun.


Dia lebih baik dari calon pertama tadi. Di akhir sesi temuduga, Johan
bertanya soalan yang sama ditanya pada calon pertama.

"Awak nampak tak sesuatu yang ganjil pada saya?"
"Ya ...saya heran bagaimana tuan boleh mendengar saya dengan baik,
sedangkan tuan duduk jauh dari saya." puji perempuan itu.

Sebaik mendengar jawapan dari perempuan itu, Johan berang dan menghalaunya
keluar. Calon terakhir adalah yang terbaik, walaupun masih muda dia telah
bekerja lebih 8 tahun di bank. Selain bijak dia juga tampan dan bergaya.
Seperti calon terdahulu Johan bertanya soalan serupa.

"Awak nampak tak sesuatu yang ganjil pada saya?"

"Ya. Awak pakai contact lens," jawab pemuda itu menahan perasannya dari
tergelak.

Walaupun terkejut, Johan gembira dengan jawapan pemuda itu.
Dia hairan kerana pemuda itu sangat teliti dan dapat melihatnya memakai
contact lens walaupun mereka duduk agak jauh.

"Bagaimana awak tau" tanya Johan lagi.

Pemuda itu tidak dapat lagi menahan gelihatinya lalu ketawa besar hingga
jatuh terguling-guling sambil berkata,"Dah tentu tuan tak boleh pakai
cermin mata sebab tuan tak ada telinga, nak sangkut kat mana".

Huargh! Huargh! Huargh! Huargh!

The Talking Frog

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, Look, I'm a Software Engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Computer Gender

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He noted how hurricanes at one time were given only female names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as she." One of the students raised her hand and asked, What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain. So he divided the class into two groups: males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendations.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to as masculine because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to as feminine because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.