Billy's father is a lawyer

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Jokes of The Day

Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“

Female girlfriend to her blonde girlfriend: ”I went for a pregnancy test today.“ Blonde girlfriend asked: ”Oh, and was the test difficult?“

Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
More leg-room!

Old couple wanting to get married discusses finance, living arrangements etc. ”How do u feel about intercourse? He asked her hesitantly. ”Well“ she replied carefully, ”I would like it rather infrequently“ He thinks a bit and asks her casually: “Was the last word one or two words?“

A couple had an argument whilst driving and then passed a pigfarm. Husband asked sarcastically: Relatives of yours?“ wife responded. ”Yip, my in-laws!“

What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
Getting fingered by Captain Hook

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass….
An Mechanic

Wife gets naked into bed with husband and says: ”tonight I am going to make you the happiest man in town!“ Husband: ”Wow, who is helping you to move?“

Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back?“

Why did the bald head man’s trouser pockets have holes in it?
So that he every now and then can pull his fingers thru his hair.

What is the resemblance between men and clouds?
Eventually they fuck-off and then it is a lovely day….!“