A Young Man Goes to the Pharmacy

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well", he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's THE night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack". The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person". He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist".

The Clever Farmer

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.

The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, “You know, you’re the tenth car I’ve helped out of the mud today.”

The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, “When do you have time to plough your land? At night?”

“No,” the young farmer replied seriously, “Night is when I put the water in the hole.”

A Millionaires Secret

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Computer Gender

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (for example, "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!").

Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their top five reasons for drawing this conclusion were:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their top five reasons were:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Lawak Buah Zakar

apek: itu potong zaka ada bagut ka ?
ali : manyak bagut..bila lu potong haa lu punya barang manyak bersih loo..
apek:?!! err..saya kawan ada cakap,potong zaka aaahh.. manyak ploblem..
ali : apa probrem ?
apek:manyak buang lui..lagi aahh..dia punya performance tatak bagut.. manyak cinang semputloh..
ali : cehh.. apek, lu apa celita.. saya suda lama potong.. tada apa problem.. bini saya manyak puas woo..
apek:lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?
ali : ya la.. bila lu potong aahh.. lagi sedap maen woo.. lu lagi lambat pancut..
apek:???!!! err..lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5 ??
ali : ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha.. saya punya 6 incila..
apek:??! tiu nia ma.. lu jgn maen2 haa.. mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..
ali : cilaka apek ni..nah tengok ( bukak sluar tunjuk pale butoh..)
apek: chee sin punya olang..gua tanya baik2 lu tunjuk lu punya lancau..
ali : abis.. lu tarak percaya..saya tunjuk la..
apek: saya tatak tanya sama lu punya lancau.. saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car.. potong zaka.. molo punya olang..
ali : aiya.. apek.. lain kali lu sebut betul2 la..kasi susa saja.. bukan potong zaka la.. proton saga.. cinabeng btulla..

Feel Free 2 viSit :
All InForMaTion RelAtEd To CaRs : http://sharerz.blogspot.com
Automotive : http://neovvl.blogspot.com
Computer and Internet : http://style2u.blogspot.com/
Lifestyle : http://lifesytle4u.blogspot.com/
Lifestylo : http://eye2u.blogspot.com/

Exercise Lidah

Cerita yg bermula dengan huruf K :

KODOK KAWAN KETAM

Ketam ketip kuku kakinya. Kawan karib Ketam, Kodok, kata kepada Ketam, "Kenapa kau ketip kuku kaki kau, Ketam ... kenapa?" Ketam kata, "Ku ketip kuku kakiku kerana kuku kakiku kelurut ... kakakku kata, kalau kukuku kelurut, kita kena ketiplah!" Kodok kentut kekeliruan. Kodok kata kekalutan, "Kadang-kadang kalau kukuku kelurut, ku ketip kenapa keluar kudis?"

Ketam ketawa, "Kah.. kah.. kah.. kah.. kih.. kih.. kih.. kih.. kuh.. kuh.. kuh.. kuh!! Kodok.. Kodok.. kenapa kadar kebodohan kau ketara keterlaluan? " Kodok kata kepada Ketam, "Ketam. Kenapa kau ketawakanku?"

Ketam kilas, "Kelakar." "Kelakar ke kurang-ajar? " kata Kodok. Kerana kemarahan Kodok keterlaluan, Kodok keperok kepala ketam kuat kadar kilat.

"kelekuk !", kepala Ketam kehancuran kerana kena keperok Kodok. Ketam kata, "Kodok.. Kodok.. kenapa kau keperok kepalaku? Kan kesakitan." KesianKetam.

Kerana kurang-ajar, kepala kena keperok.

Cerita yg bermula dengan huruf C :



COPOT CAHABAT CIPUT


Catu cenje, ciput cite-cite came copot cambil cari cengkerik. Ciput cuke cite-cite came copot cebab copot cahabat ciput. Cemace ciput came copot cari cengkerik, ciput cakcikan catu cahye cerah. Cahye cerah ciput cakcikan cangat cerah campai ciput came copot cilau. Cahye cerah cube culik copot.
Ciput cangat cuak.. ciput cepat-cepat camba copot cebelum cahye cerah cempat culik copot. Copot cangat cuak. Ciput came copot cepat-cepat cari cheltercambil cepat-cepat cembunyi. Ciput came copot cembunyi cenyap-cenyap cupaye cahye cerah cucah cari ciput came copot. Ciput cakap came copot,

"chuuu...

chuuu... cenyap.... cenyap copot...". Copot cambung cakap, "copot cudah cenyap... ciput cenyap camelah...". Celepas cejam, cahye cerah cudah chow cebab cucah cari ciput cape copot. Ciput came copot cangat cuke cebab cahye cerah cudah chow. Copot cenyum cambil cakap, "copot cayang ciput
cebab ciput celamatkan copot...". Ciput cenyum cambil chow came copot.